…and how life taught me this the hard way...
One of the things I wish I had maximized better in college was relationships.
I was jovial even funny but not very social. People who knew me closely thought I was an extrovert. They were wrong. I was actually quite reserved. Maybe it was because of the tough experiences I endured in school. Or maybe it was how harsh circumstances clipped the wings of my personality.
Still, I wore a coat of charisma, cheerfulness, and humor. It worked to a point. I met amazing people and we connected. But back then, I didn’t understand something life-transforming about relationships.
Life Has a Way of Teaching You What You Didn’t Learn in Time.
Years after graduation, life began to show me what I had missed. I started to see relationships from a different lens. Though I had always appreciated a few good friends, I wasn’t conscious of the power of being intentional about them.
Looking back, I realize now:
If I had understood the importance of these four types of people, I would have cultivated deeper connections in my early years.
Late last year through mid-2025 became a defining season of my life. It forced me into deep reflection about the people around me. And I will forever remain grateful to those who stood by me when it felt like the sky was collapsing on my head.
Here are the four kinds of people you need on your journey to greatness:
1. The Cheerleaders
These are the ones who encourage you to become more, do more, and have more.
They remind you of who you are when you forget. They keep clapping even when the stage is empty.
The reason you're reading my writing today is because of people like this. I gave up so many times, but whenever I shared my burdens with them, I heard things like:
“Gabriel, you can do this.”
“You don’t have to give up now.”
“Who told you your writing is bad?”
They were the reason I finally decided to write, regardless of fear or doubt. During my birthday retreat this year, I sent them a message of deep gratitude.
2. The Connectors
These are the “middlemen” who link people to opportunities.
They speak good about you in rooms you’ve never entered. In a world full of competition and envy, connectors are rare gems.
When I resumed work, I faced serious challenges people who envied my position and backbit me to my boss. But I also had friends who wiped the dirt off my name with truth and advocacy.
They would say things like,
“I know this guy. He’s good at what he does. Instead of listening to gossip, give him more responsibility.”
They were fighting for me without my knowledge. I only found out later. And this is why I’m sharing this with you today.
3. The Truth-Tellers
These friends are not driven by sentiment. They call out your flaws with love and firmness.
If all you have are friends who never challenge you, who excuse every poor decision you make, you need to urgently review those relationships.
Truth-tellers are uncomfortable, but necessary. They will tell you, “You’re better than this.” And they’ll expect you to rise. Don’t run from them. Hold them close.
4. The Financiers
These are the rarest. They see your potential before the world notices you. But more than just words, they invest in you their time, treasure, and talent.
While some people only give you advice, these ones empower your action. They challenge your fears, push you past your limits, and show up when you feel like hiding.
💭 “But Gabriel, How Do I Find These Kinds of Friends?”
Maybe as you read this, your heart whispered: Where are these people? How do I attract them into my life?
Honestly, I can’t give you a guaranteed formula.
But here’s what I discovered:
I became this kind of person to others, without even realizing it.
I listened to people. I encouraged a few. I gave my time when I had little. I helped where I could, not because I expected anything back but because this world already has enough casualties. I didn’t want to be another one.
I didn’t know I was planting seeds. But those seeds grew and when I needed help, they became trees that gave me shade.
So, whatever kind of friend you want to attract, become that friend first.
Give without agenda. Love without manipulation. Help without keeping score.
In time, what you’ve sown will find its way back to you.
